Confusion
by autumnLR
Summary: It's the beginning of their seventh year and James is acting surprisingly mature. Has he really grown up or is this just a fluke?
1. Chapter 1

Lily flipped her long, auburn hair over her shoulder as the lush, English countryside whizzed past outside the train windows. It was a few hours into their last train ride to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and the conversation had come to a lull. The initial excitement over seeing each other after the long summer break had worn off and each girl was occupied with different activities.

Lily was staring out the window, contemplating how much life had changed over the last six years. As cliché as it sounded, she couldn't believe only six years ago she was just starting to learn about a world in which people fly on broomsticks, turn tea kettles into tortoises, and send their mail using owls. She sure had changed a lot in those six years. Her very first train ride she had spent with the only person she knew—Severus Snape. Severus had been kind to her in the beginning, showing her around Diagon Alley, explaining the differences between knuts, sickles, and galleons. But sometime between their fourth and fifth years things had changed. Suddenly, whenever she asked him if he wanted to do something, he was busy with his new Slytherin friends. She didn't have a problem with the fact that he was making more friends. She was actually really, really happy for him. He didn't always have the easiest time getting to know others and forming friends. She did have a problem with who these new friends were.

They were a shady bunch; most of them had graduated about three years ahead of Severus and Lily. They all had sinister looks on their faces at all times with their eyes narrowed and lips drawn in tight lines. It was as if they were always suspicious of all those surrounding them. Not to mention the horrible rumors that went around about what they liked to do for fun. Occasionally, after one of those nights in which Severus told Lily he was hanging out with his Slytherin friends, Lily would hear people whispering about a group of muggles that had been tortured the night before. No one ever mustered up the courage to ask Severus if these rumors were true, as they didn't want to offend him and be on the receiving end of one of the curses he was notorious for.

All in all, Severus and Lily had grown apart their fifth year but it wasn't until just after their Defense Against the Dark Arts final exam that their friendship was truly severed. She had been lounging by the lake with her two good friends, Alice and Emma, when she looked up to see James Potter holding Severus upside down up in the air. Even though she and Severus were not as close as they once were, she still didn't want to see him hurt, let alone by the one boy who could always get her blood boiling, James Potter. So she marched over to where a group of students were standing, laughing at Potter's ministrations to poor Severus.

"Leave him ALONE!" she yelled at Potter.

And after she had finally gotten Potter to put him down, she turned to face Severus with a smile on her face, hoping that maybe just a tiny bit of their friendship could return after months of not spending time together. Then he uttered that horrible, filthy word. She couldn't believe it, it felt as though she had been slapped in the face. She stared at him in shock as he turned and sulked away. Severus Snape had introduced her to this world, how could he now hate her so much simply because of what her parent's were?

Speaking of James Potter, he was one person who had not changed at all since the first day of first year when he told her that the traditional sorting consisted of a duel with one of the burly seventh year boys. He seemed to find her anguish highly amusing, but then as she really started to panic, he tried to console her.

"Don't worry, if he really tries to hurt you, I'll help. I've grown up with magic, so I'll be able to protect you." That did not help Lily at all; in fact, she was outraged.

"Why do you assume I need help? Just because I'm muggleborn," she used her newly acquired vocabulary, "doesn't mean that I'm worse than you! I can do anything you can do." She glowered at him.

"I, uh, well, I didn't mean to insult you. I was just trying to help you." He cowered under her glare.

"And so the basis to their relationship was formed. When Lily discovered James had been lying to her, she was furious with him. She refused to even look at him, ignoring his pleas. For the next few years he proceeded to try and get himself in her good favor, she wouldn't have any of it. He played pranks on her, trying to get her to laugh. He brought her chocolate cake from the kitchen. But his pranks just made her even madder, and the chocolate cake enraged her. She loved chocolate cake, especially the Hogwart's elves', but she didn't like the fact that Potter knew that about her, like he seemed to know everything about her. Complaints of the incessant James Potter were commonly heard coming from Lily's lips.

Alice sighed and put down her copy of Witch Weekly, bringing Lily back to her present situation: sitting on the Hogwarts Express on her way to her seventh and final year.

Lily had met Alice on her first day at Hogwarts. They immediately stuck together, drawn to each other, as they were both muggleborns, completely lost in this strange new world. Alice was well-liked by everyone. She was nearly always in a good mood and was well suited to dealing with Lily's complaints about James. Personally, she thought the whole situation was amusing. She, of course, always took Lily's side in their arguments, but Lily also knew that Alice truly felt that Lily and James would make a great couple. Alice had mentioned it once but at the sight of Lily's face she shut up quickly and never mentioned it again.

Emma was not so sympathetic to Lily's wants. While everyone liked Alice everyone, especially the male population, _loved_ Emma. She didn't do anything specifically to attract their attention, but ever since about third year she had boys yearning after her. In fact, Potter was one of the few boys to not have developed a crush on her in all their years together. Emma, Alice, and Lily all laughed at these poor smitten boys, but they never talked about the fact that all the boys' attention was on her and almost never on Lily or Alice. That isn't to say that Lily never had dates, because she did, but she hadn't found anyone she really connected to and she never felt completely secure that they didn't secretly wish they were out with Emma.

Alice was lucky, after many years of pining over numerous young men; one finally came into her life. His name was Frank and he was completely and totally head-over-heels for Alice. It was almost sickening the wa they looked at each other when they were together. The only reason Frank wasn't with them now was because he was out looking for the witch that brought around the snacks for everyone. Alice had casually mentioned her craving for a sugar quill and he ran off looking for one for her.

A knock on their compartment door brought Lily out of her daydreaming—James Potter was standing in the doorway. Emma moved over immediately.

"James! It's so good to see you! Come and take a seat right here between Lily and me. Tell us all about your summer." Emma beamed at him. She was always trying to get Lily to see a different side of James than the annoying prankster she was predisposed to see. Emma thought they would make the cutest couple and she was always trying to tell Lily that, but she wouldn't hear it.

"Thanks Emma. It's nice to see you too. But I actually just came to get Lily." He turned to look at the redhead who was looking back with indifference, "We're supposed to get together on the train ride to come up with the prefects' patrol schedule. They have a head's compartment up in the front of the train if you want to get started."

Lily still couldn't believe Dumbledore had picked Potter as Head Boy. It simply made no sense. He had never even been prefect. But Lily as willing to give Dumbledore the benefit of the doubt and give Potter a chance to do all of the responsibilities of being head boy. It was still a shock to her to hear such mature tones coming from his mouth.

"Sure, I'll be right there," Lily got up and grabbed her school bag before heading out the door, following Potter.

"Have fun you two!" Emma called after them, suggestively. Lily rolled her eyes as she could hear Emma and Alice's giggles coming from their compartment.

"So, Lily how was your summer?" Potter asked. Lily sighed,

"Look, Potter, I didn't ask to be made Head Girl with you. I would much rather just do what we have to do quickly so I can get back to enjoying my last train ride on the Hogwarts Express," was Lily's scathing reply as they reached the Head's compartment Potter had told her about. It was best to cut him off right away before he could lure her into a false sense of security and suddenly dump a bucket of ice water over her head. (This had happened during their fourth year, Lily had been absolutely furious).

"Okay then, let's get to it." Potter got out the scheduling sheet, "Hufflepuff's can't go Monday nights because that's the night they have astrology." He started marking things off on the sheet.

Lily could hardly believe this change in James. Maybe Dumbledore's appointment as Head Boy had really brought out some maturity because the James Potter Lily knew would not have just stopped bothering her like that. She couldn't decide if the new Potter was better or not. Maybe it was just a fluke.

As soon as she put on efoot back into her compartment, she was bombarded with questions coming from both sides.

"So, what did you two talk about?"

"Did you sit next to each other?"

"Did you stare into each others eyes for a seeming eternity?" Both Alice and Emma erupted into giggles at this point.

"Be serious you guys. All we did was talk about the scheduling of patrols. We had to sit next to each other because we had to be looking at the same sheet of paper. And no! Of course we didn't gaze into each other's eyes! Actually, though, in all reality, he did act more mature than he has in the past. I told him that I just wanted to get the scheduling done so we could skip the niceties and just get on with it. He didn't say anything at all." Lily drifted off thoughtfully.

"Oooh! So you care about him?" Emma pounced on the opportunity to try and get Lily to admit to feeling anything slightly more amorous than hate.

"Well, I wouldn't say I _care_ about him, but if he keeps this attitude, I guess this year working with him won't be as bad as I had anticipated."

"I'm glad you're finally coming around," Alice ventured, "He really isn't as bad as you always make him out to be."

Lily shot her a look; "let's not get ahead of ourselves here. Most likely he stayed up all night planning pranks and was too tired to really bother me. I'm going to try to go into this with an open mind, like I said, if he truly has become more mature, I'll forgive him of his past. I'm a big girl, I can do that."

"That's all we're asking for." Emma said.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 1**

Lily flipped her long, auburn hair over her shoulder as the lush, English countryside whizzed past outside the train windows. It was a few hours into their last train ride to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and the conversation had come to a lull. The initial excitement over seeing each other after the long summer break had worn off and each girl was occupied with different activities.

Lily was staring out the window, contemplating how much life had changed over the last six years. As cliché as it sounded, she couldn't believe only six years ago she was just starting to learn about a world in which people fly on broomsticks, turn tea kettles into tortoises, and send their mail using owls. She sure had changed a lot in those six years. Her very first train ride she had spent with the only person she knew—Severus Snape. Severus had been kind to her in the beginning, showing her around Diagon Alley, explaining the differences between knuts, sickles, and galleons. But sometime between their fourth and fifth years things had changed. Suddenly, whenever she asked him if he wanted to do something, he was busy with his new Slytherin friends. She didn't have a problem with the fact that he was making more friends. She was actually really, really happy for him. He didn't always have the easiest time getting to know others and forming friends. She did have a problem with who these new friends were.

They were a shady bunch; most of them had graduated about three years ahead of Severus and Lily. They all had sinister looks on their faces at all times with their eyes narrowed and lips drawn in tight lines. It was as if they were always suspicious of all those surrounding them. Not to mention the horrible rumors that went around about what they liked to do for fun. Occasionally, after one of those nights in which Severus told Lily he was hanging out with his Slytherin friends, Lily would hear people whispering about a group of muggles that had been tortured the night before. No one ever mustered up the courage to ask Severus if these rumors were true, as they didn't want to offend him and be on the receiving end of one of the curses he was notorious for.

All in all, Severus and Lily had grown apart their fifth year but it wasn't until just after their Defense Against the Dark Arts final exam that their friendship was truly severed. She had been lounging by the lake with her two good friends, Alice and Emma, when she looked up to see James Potter holding Severus upside down up in the air. Even though she and Severus were not as close as they once were, she still didn't want to see him hurt, let alone by the one boy who could always get her blood boiling, James Potter. So she marched over to where a group of students were standing, laughing at Potter's ministrations to poor Severus.

"Leave him ALONE!" she yelled at Potter.

And after she had finally gotten Potter to put him down, she turned to face Severus with a smile on her face, hoping that maybe just a tiny bit of their friendship could return after months of not spending time together. Then he uttered that horrible, filthy word. She couldn't believe it, it felt as though she had been slapped in the face. She stared at him in shock as he turned and sulked away. Severus Snape had introduced her to this world, how could he now hate her so much simply because of what her parent's were?

Speaking of James Potter, he was one person who had not changed at all since the first day of first year when he told her that the traditional sorting consisted of a duel with one of the burly seventh year boys. He seemed to find her anguish highly amusing, but then as she really started to panic, he tried to console her.

"Don't worry, if he really tries to hurt you, I'll help. I've grown up with magic, so I'll be able to protect you." That did not help Lily at all; in fact, she was outraged.

"Why do you assume I need help? Just because I'm muggleborn," she used her newly acquired vocabulary, "doesn't mean that I'm worse than you! I can do anything you can do." She glowered at him.

"I, uh, well, I didn't mean to insult you. I was just trying to help you." He cowered under her glare.

"And so the basis to their relationship was formed. When Lily discovered James had been lying to her, she was furious with him. She refused to even look at him, ignoring his pleas. For the next few years he proceeded to try and get himself in her good favor, she wouldn't have any of it. He played pranks on her, trying to get her to laugh. He brought her chocolate cake from the kitchen. But his pranks just made her even madder, and the chocolate cake enraged her. She loved chocolate cake, especially the Hogwart's elves', but she didn't like the fact that Potter knew that about her, like he seemed to know everything about her. Complaints of the incessant James Potter were commonly heard coming from Lily's lips.

Alice sighed and put down her copy of Witch Weekly, bringing Lily back to her present situation: sitting on the Hogwarts Express on her way to her seventh and final year.

Lily had met Alice on her first day at Hogwarts. They immediately stuck together, drawn to each other, as they were both muggleborns, completely lost in this strange new world. Alice was well-liked by everyone. She was nearly always in a good mood and was well suited to dealing with Lily's complaints about James. Personally, she thought the whole situation was amusing. She, of course, always took Lily's side in their arguments, but Lily also knew that Alice truly felt that Lily and James would make a great couple. Alice had mentioned it once but at the sight of Lily's face she shut up quickly and never mentioned it again.

Emma was not so sympathetic to Lily's wants. While everyone liked Alice everyone, especially the male population, _loved_ Emma. She didn't do anything specifically to attract their attention, but ever since about third year she had boys yearning after her. In fact, Potter was one of the few boys to not have developed a crush on her in all their years together. Emma, Alice, and Lily all laughed at these poor smitten boys, but they never talked about the fact that all the boys' attention was on her and almost never on Lily or Alice. That isn't to say that Lily never had dates, because she did, but she hadn't found anyone she really connected to and she never felt completely secure that they didn't secretly wish they were out with Emma.

Alice was lucky, after many years of pining over numerous young men; one finally came into her life. His name was Frank and he was completely and totally head-over-heels for Alice. It was almost sickening the wa they looked at each other when they were together. The only reason Frank wasn't with them now was because he was out looking for the witch that brought around the snacks for everyone. Alice had casually mentioned her craving for a sugar quill and he ran off looking for one for her.

A knock on their compartment door brought Lily out of her daydreaming—James Potter was standing in the doorway. Emma moved over immediately.

"James! It's so good to see you! Come and take a seat right here between Lily and me. Tell us all about your summer." Emma beamed at him. She was always trying to get Lily to see a different side of James than the annoying prankster she was predisposed to see. Emma thought they would make the cutest couple and she was always trying to tell Lily that, but she wouldn't hear it.

"Thanks Emma. It's nice to see you too. But I actually just came to get Lily." He turned to look at the redhead who was looking back with indifference, "We're supposed to get together on the train ride to come up with the prefects' patrol schedule. They have a head's compartment up in the front of the train if you want to get started."

Lily still couldn't believe Dumbledore had picked Potter as Head Boy. It simply made no sense. He had never even been prefect. But Lily as willing to give Dumbledore the benefit of the doubt and give Potter a chance to do all of the responsibilities of being head boy. It was still a shock to her to hear such mature tones coming from his mouth.

"Sure, I'll be right there," Lily got up and grabbed her school bag before heading out the door, following Potter.

"Have fun you two!" Emma called after them, suggestively. Lily rolled her eyes as she could hear Emma and Alice's giggles coming from their compartment.

"So, Lily how was your summer?" Potter asked. Lily sighed,

"Look, Potter, I didn't ask to be made Head Girl with you. I would much rather just do what we have to do quickly so I can get back to enjoying my last train ride on the Hogwarts Express," was Lily's scathing reply as they reached the Head's compartment Potter had told her about. It was best to cut him off right away before he could lure her into a false sense of security and suddenly dump a bucket of ice water over her head. (This had happened during their fourth year, Lily had been absolutely furious).

"Okay then, let's get to it." Potter got out the scheduling sheet, "Hufflepuff's can't go Monday nights because that's the night they have astrology." He started marking things off on the sheet.

Lily could hardly believe this change in James. Maybe Dumbledore's appointment as Head Boy had really brought out some maturity because the James Potter Lily knew would not have just stopped bothering her like that. She couldn't decide if the new Potter was better or not. Maybe it was just a fluke.

As soon as she put on efoot back into her compartment, she was bombarded with questions coming from both sides.

"So, what did you two talk about?"

"Did you sit next to each other?"

"Did you stare into each others eyes for a seeming eternity?" Both Alice and Emma erupted into giggles at this point.

"Be serious you guys. All we did was talk about the scheduling of patrols. We had to sit next to each other because we had to be looking at the same sheet of paper. And no! Of course we didn't gaze into each other's eyes! Actually, though, in all reality, he did act more mature than he has in the past. I told him that I just wanted to get the scheduling done so we could skip the niceties and just get on with it. He didn't say anything at all." Lily drifted off thoughtfully.

"Oooh! So you care about him?" Emma pounced on the opportunity to try and get Lily to admit to feeling anything slightly more amorous than hate.

"Well, I wouldn't say I _care_ about him, but if he keeps this attitude, I guess this year working with him won't be as bad as I had anticipated."

"I'm glad you're finally coming around," Alice ventured, "He really isn't as bad as you always make him out to be."

Lily shot her a look; "let's not get ahead of ourselves here. Most likely he stayed up all night planning pranks and was too tired to really bother me. I'm going to try to go into this with an open mind, like I said, if he truly has become more mature, I'll forgive him of his past. I'm a big girl, I can do that."

"That's all we're asking for." Emma said.

**Chapter 2**

"How'd it go?" Sirius immediately asked as James walked back into their compartment after his head meeting. "Were you able to refrain from jumping her after your long summer apart?"

"Shut up, Sirius. I was civilized, we got a lot of work done." He sank down into his seat, looking frustrated and worn-out. "I'm not sure how well your advice is going to work, Remus. On one side she didn't yell at me or seem mad at me at all, but on the other side, we barely talked at all. She really just doesn't like me. I might e better off putting my efforts into finding a different girl rather than trying to mature for Lily."

"No way!" Shouted Sirius, startling everyone in the compartment, including Remus who had opened his mouth, about to speak, "you _cannot_ give up on her. You have been obsessing over her for years and years, and I, for one, refuse to let you waste the eons of time I have spent listening to you pine after this girl." James took Sirius' tirade in silence and then turned to look at Remus.

"Erm, I agree. Give her some time. She's not used to you being civil and not pranking her or asking her out 24/7. Once she sees you're being serious," he paused to shoot a look at Sirius before continuing, "she'll loosen up and you two can start to become friends and hopefully go from there. But, trust me, you don't want to give up now."

&&&

For their last time ever, the crowds of seventh years filed into the Great Hall under the blood red sunset on the ceiling. The students took their respective places at their house tables in order to usher in the first years. As the last student got sorted (Alyssa Ziegler…GRYFFINDOR!) and they listened to Professor Dumbledore's short welcoming speech, they dug in to the steaming, heaping feast laid before them. Gasps were heard from the first years as the food appeared out of nowhere.

"Aw, they're so cute. I remember being terrified when I first came here. Although I definitely do _not_ remember being so little." Lily spoke to those around her as she poured gravy over everything on her plate. She was surrounded by her fellow seventh years; they chose to stick together for their final welcoming feast.

"I think it's cute how small and lost they look. I remember being utterly confused and terrified on my first day." James chimed in.

Lily stared at him. Was this really James Potter speaking? He actually admitted he wasn't completely confident all the time and spoke positively about the first years instead of discussing various ways in which to prank them. Summer had been good for Potter.

&&&

"Mr. Potter and Ms. Evans, if you'll follow me, please. I'll show you to your head boy and girl dormitory." Professor Dumbledore stepped back, waiting for the pair to stand up and follow him. They gathered their things and walked with him out of the Great Hall.

They were silent as they made their way up to the third floor, down a long corridor Lily had never been in before.

Lily bit her lip in thought. She was uncertain about this new rooming assignment. If Potter remained as he had been today for the rest of the year, it wouldn't be too bad. However, if this was just a fluke, as Lily suspected, this year was going to be awful. She was already making plans to store half her stuff back in the Gryffindor dormitories so she could stay there as much as possible.

James, on the other hand, could barely contain himself. He was positively ecstatic to be rooming with Lily. This would be the absolute perfect opportunity to demonstrate to her how much he had changed since the end of last year.

They reached the very end of the corridor and Professor Dumbledore stopped, standing in front of a portrait of Jeremiah the Jaded (a young wizard who was famous for dating many young witches but getting his heart broken right after he told them he loved them.)

"This is the entrance way to your dormitory, the password will be 'chrysanthemum'" As he said the password the portrait swung open. "I'll leave you to set everything up and get used to your new rooms. Good luck with your classes tomorrow!" Professor Dumbledore abruptly turned, his cloak sweeping behind him, and swiftly walked away, leaving Lily and James alone.

"Ladies first," James said, sweeping his arm out and stepping to the side to let Lily in their shared common room. Lily stepped back and gasped in awe.

A fire was roaring in the fireplace directly in front of them. A brown couch sat in front of it, just begging Lily and James to come sit on it. Everything was in gorgeous warm shades of chocolate brown and rich wine. Off to the left was a door with Lily's name engraved in it; James room was to the right of Lily's. Their shared bathroom was across the common room. Lily's first thought was of awkward moments that were sure to take place due to both the placement of the bathroom all the way across the room from their bedrooms and the fact that they would be sharing a bathroom for the whole year. They were going to have to spend some time figuring out when the best time for showers was.

James moved to sit on the soft, leather couch, sinking into it, relaxing. He placed his arm over the back of the couch, leaving no room for Lily to comfortably sit next to him. She knew he had done that on purpose, hoping that she would sit next to him and then he could casually slide his arm around her neck. She wasn't going to fall for it.

"See you tomorrow," Lily said, turning to go into her room.

"'Night" James replied, staring off into the fire.

When Lily first opened up her door the first thing that hit her was the smell of lilacs, her favorite smell. It reminded her of home and springtime. The room was designed perfectly for her. There was a large four-poster bed covered by a fluffy navy blue comforter. She may be a Gryffindor, but her favorite color has always been navy blue. In the corner, next to the window was a small vanity with an adorable stool next to it, perfect for her hair and makeup applications in the morning. There was a large dresser along with a fairly large closet for her to put all of her school robes and muggle clothes for Hogsmeade visits and the like. There was even a small collection of framed photographs on the wall above her bed. She could see her mom and dad smiling down on her, waving, along with pictures of her and her friends from throughout her years at Hogwarts. This year may be hard due to the added responsibilities of being head girl and living with Potter, but at least she would be comfortable.

She opened up the closet doors and all of her clothes had been put away already, presumably by house elves while they were eating the welcome feast. She grabbed her favorite pajamas, changed, and climbed into bed, ready for an exciting year to come.


End file.
